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Wow! What a Week

A humorous look-back at the week that was

Wow! What a week

What do Black Panther, Bigfoot and Omarosa Manigault all have in common? Humorist Gerald Terrell takes aim at each as he looks back on some of the week’s news stories.

Wow, what a week!

Why is Charlotte putting in a bid for the 2020 Republican National Convention? Pat McCrory is still sneaking around Charlotte since he was bounced from the governor’s mansion. When was the last time you saw him in public for more than 5 minutes? I was at the Thanksgiving Parade a year ago, and people wouldn’t even wave at Republican Rep. Robert Pittenger. Might I suggest a new location for the GOP convention? Yellowstone, Montana, would be lovely in the summertime.

And here we go…

Warn a Brother
Bigfoot, or the more formal term Sasquatch, is a large, hairy creature that lives in the forest. Some say it is real, others say it’s just a legend in American folklore. Enter the Western North Carolina Bigfoot Festival. Marion, N.C., is hosting a fun-filled event featuring Bigfoot experts and the top Bigfoot callers. It has been said that Bigfoot’s howl is similar to a “high-pitched scream…like a woman being murdered in the woods.” Wait a minute! Sounds like a woman being murdered? This seems like the perfect time for a PSA. All black males between the ages of 10 and 89, please stay out of Marion, N.C., on September 8 from noon until 6 p.m.


Omarosa wearing out the CARPET
After all these weeks, we are finally finding out why former White House aide Omarosa Manigault was given the boot. Omarosa was using the White House executive car service, known as “CARPET,” as a personal chauffer. I guess she has never heard of Zipcar. She shouldn’t tilt her nose up to public transportation. It’s not like she was stuck riding MARTA in Atlanta. Washington is a wonderful city for walking and also for bike riding. She was making $179,700, enough for a Moped. Instead of being GRAND, she should have spent her money on walking shoes.


Dining on Trump
Bye-bye, food stamps. Hello, Trump TV Diners. The Trump administration wants to wean people off government assistance by providing Blue Apron-style meals. The concept, dubbed “America’s Harvest Box,” is projected to save the government money by providing 100% U.S.-produced food to low-income families. These meals would not include meats, fresh fruits or vegetable. Blue Apron has more than 1 million customers, and American Harvest would have more than 16 million. I guess Trump would have to outsource delivery to FedEx or UPS. But couldn’t these meals be better? As big as Trump claims he is, why not throw in some Trump Wine and Trump Steaks.


They Don’t Care about Hope
Recently fired White House aide Rob Porter regularly attended meetings and discussed policy issues with an interim security clearance. But the FBI completed his background investigation in July 2017. Porter’s current girlfriend, Hope Hicks, is the communication director. White House advisor Kellyanne Conway said she was not concerned about Hick’s safety because “I’ve rarely met somebody so strong with such excellent instincts and loyalty and smarts.” The reason Porter had an interim security clearance was because the FBI interviewed his ex-wives and found something they didn’t like. Apparently, leadership at the White House wasn’t bothered enough to wonder why he couldn’t get a full security clearance. Conway isn’t bothered enough to be concerned about Hicks’ safety. I guess it won’t be an issue until Hicks has her black-eyed photo on the news.


Black Panther Do’s and Don’ts
Black Panther weekend is finally here! Excitement is in the air, and people are ready to see the film. But before you walk into the theater like you are attending a Zamunda wedding reception, let’s go over three rules for this weekend.

1. Please wear authentic African garments to the theater and not something you threw together because it identifies as “black clothing.” FUBU, Cross Colors and any other clothing made by your favorite rapper doesn’t equate to African. If all you have is a medallion from the mid 80s, then wear that. Don’t go overboard trying to look like an extra on an X Clan video. Just a reminder: Kufi Hats and Afro Picks will always be acceptable.

2. Leave your babies at home. If you can’t afford a babysitter, then you have no business at the moves. Don’t bring that kid up in the building crying and carrying on. It’s bad enough that you bump into people with that damn car seat/stroller. I know you want to be “in the number,” i.e., first folks to see Black Panther on opening weekend, but not like this. Wait until you can get proper coverage for your little ones.

3. Don’t go to work next week talking about you had the “Blackest Weekend Ever.” You know your boss voted for Trump and doesn’t want to hear that. You have the same supervisor who got excited when he heard Attorney General Jeff Sessions talking about Anglo-American law. You are going to make him think you were at a Black Lives Matter/Black Panther/Nation of Islam/Black Liberation Theology rally. Remember that you have a mid-year review coming up.

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