Wow!!! What a Week
A humorous look back at some of the week’s top news stories.
On Monday, Facebook started punishing pages that post fake news by banning them from advertising on the social media site. It seems FB is finally getting serious about cracking down on people who spread fake content. Does this mean they will soon be going after President Trump’s personal page as well?
And here we go….
— The grocery chain Whole Foods, aka “Whole Paycheck,” started slashing prices on Monday (thanks Amazon!!). The price of organic, farm-raised tilapia was cut 33 percent, from $11.99 to $7.99. Wait a minute? People were paying $12 for tilapia…the most common fish you can eat? Low-end restaurants slip tilapia in their entrees and tell you it’s swordfish. Single dudes cooking for their dates tell them it’s shark. Hustlers sell it in front of barbershops and call it salmon. Meanwhile, folks across town are getting Walmart tilapia for $5.94.
— Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin mentioned that Harriet Tubman might not replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. It’s obvious that the Trump administration doesn’t want us to have anything. But it could have been a lot worse. Trump could have replaced Jackson with Herman Cain, leading some to mistake the currency for Godfather Pizza coupons?
— On Sunday, a new Confederate monument was erected on private property in Brantley, Alabama. The monument is titled “Unknown Alabama Confederate Soldiers.” Attending the event were Daughters of the Confederacy, Sons of Confederate Veterans, and Civil War re-enactors. What a strange time we’re living in. One side is trying to tear down the past. The other side is trying to rebuild it.
— During the 2016 presidential election, Trump boasted that he would make Mexico pay for a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border, prompting former Mexican President Vincente Fox to say “We’ll never pay for that f—ing wall.” This week, Trump threatened a government shutdown if he doesn’t get funding from Congress to build the wall. Trump says construction costs would be $8 – $12 billion, but estimates show a shutdown could cost taxpayers $6.5 billion a week. My favorite Trump supporter told me that we are going to get the money from businesses that are staying and coming to America. There is another definition for this type of transaction. The rap group Outkast calls this “Hope Money,” because you hope it does what you need it to do.
— Hurricane Harvey caused unimaginable devastation for U.S. residents along the Gulf of Mexico. Shout out to Mexico for offering assistance in our time of need, and I want to thank them for using the wall money to help Texas out.
— Stacey Dash could have gone after any politician on Earth. Hillary Clinton, for example, is running around the New York State woods like a Yeti. Nancy Pelosi is holding on to her House leadership job like a rat holding on to cheese. Dash could have even set her sights on Nicki Minaj. (Why let Remy Ma have all the fun?) But no, Dash did the dumb move and put Congresswoman “Auntie” Maxine Waters in her sights. And the fact that she used Twitter to do the deed made it worse. Black Twitter annihilated Dash with the swiftness of a Hattori Hanzo sword. Dash ended up apologizing but blamed it on her intern. Which raises the question…who’d want an internship with Stacey Dash? Fox News decided earlier this year not to renew her contract, and her last big movie role was the 4th Sharknado film. I hope she saved all her King Magazine and Rick Ross video money.
— I know why George Forman was dissing Colin Kaepernick. He wants to keep selling those Forman grills. He knows black folks still have models from 1995, the ones that only cook bacon and make grill cheese sandwiches. Technology has advanced since then, and now they make Forman grills with bake and muffin pans. Do you think your auntie/nana/sista-friend has one of those new grills? No!! But I bet your friend Becky does.
— The U.S. Census Bureau predicts that white Americans will be a minority by 2042. Meanwhile, the number of hate groups in America has been on the rise since 2016, “an unprecedented year for hate,” according to the Southern Poverty Law Center. And a recent ABC/Washington Post poll found that 1 in 10 Americans says it’s acceptable to hold neo-Nazi views. Happy Labor Day, America!!!