My physical move to Charlotte was very challenging; actually it was brutal!

It’s amazing how much one collects in a short period of time, and I proudly call myself a minimalist — a person who intentionally keeps one’s possessions to a minimal.

I thank the Lord that it’s over, for the most part. However, this feat did not come without deep, spiritual thoughts that ultimately lead to the writing of this blog.

“What kinda men are they?” I thought repeatedly as I struggled to carry box after box up those 19 steps. You see I was moving into my new second-floor luxury apartment, and right across from me sat two brothers who appeared to be comfortably enjoying themselves on their shaded balcony. Pie in the sky thinker that I am, I thought for sure they were going to yell over, “hey, sista, you need some help?”

So sure this would be the verbiage coming from their cool lips sippin’ on their cool drinks, I began to rehearse my damsels in distress response – I would love it. Sure! If you don’t mind!

Well, that was a waste of mental energy. Those brothers actually had the audacity to sit on that balcony and watch me struggle to climb 2019 steps in 90-degree heat carrying 10-20-pound boxes!

What kinda men are they? What kind of men would commit such an atrocity against women? What statement were they trying to send me; me and perhaps other women; perhaps other black women? Well, I’m not sure! But, I am sure of the statement I want to send to them and every other man — women deserve better than that!

We deserve to be shown chivalry at appropriate times, and without an agenda! We need to know that there are real gentlemen who not only demonstrate this characteristic when on some quest for fine dining, but who demonstrates it when we least expect it, and when we most need it; when it’s inconvenient; when no one else will notice; when the only reward is a sincere thank-you from a most appreciative female, and a nod from your Father in heaven.

This is what women need! And yes, we will return the appreciation at appropriate times. It may be only a sincere thank-you at that moment. But at some other time, it may be our standing up and beside you during a moment of injustice; it may be our reaffirming your worth to your children in the absence of your presence; it may be our affirming your manhood as we lay gently beside you. You see, it goes both ways.

We need men who will be the leaders God has instructed them to be; leaders who will set a tone of mutual respect, support and concern. It is through a society that exudes this tone that men and women will begin to develop relationships that exude mutual respect, support and concern. What kinda men are you?

Janice Robinson is an author and blogger living in Charlotte. See her Web site at

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